I'm very nervous about Sunday. My stomach is in knots.
I haven't actually vomited yet, but it feels like it's gonna happen. I can tell it's going to be another day or so of choking down gatorade just to keep upright.
My shoulder hurts. My hip hurts. There's no real reason for either of them to hurt, but they do.
My family may or may not go with me. It's a long drive for little people, but they have said they want to come along and sing songs.
I vascillate between having an actual time goal and trying to exorcise my brain of the demons that are other peoples' time goals and times they did to complete the race in previous years.
I mostly want to just go and enjoy the thing for what it is, to finish. I worry that I won't be able to finish, that I'll be tired. That my body will quit on me. I don't know how to get around that.
So.
I'll state my Goals:
My primary goal: go, enjoy the experience. finish the race.
My second goal: go, have a decent finishing time. 7 hours would be respectable, I'd be OK with 7. Is that too long? Can I do better? Am I wrong to ask that of myself? Why am I second guessing this?
My secret goal should probably not go on my blog. I'll keep it in my head.
I know I've trained for this. I know I've trained hard. Why do I still feel physically ill?
How will I feel after the bike? Will I want to quit? Running after the bike will be hard. I know I've run lots and lots, will it be too hard? I can't predict, but I know what hard feels like. I know what hot feels like.
Ack. I'm having a flashback to the week before I had my twins when, with a sudden anxiety pang, I started asking the midwife questions about labor. I know it hurts, but what kind of hurt?
So I shall tell myself the same things in my self talk:
It's a beautiful day, why not go for a little jog?
I had two babies, and that took longer than this. Unlike labor, I can quit any time I want. I can stop any time.
It's one day. One day out of many days. Look what you're doing with your day - how cool is that?!
It's supposed to be hard. If it were easy it probably wouldn't be worth doing.
The pain will stop at the finish line.
There's a cold lake at the finish line.
There's a t-shirt at the finish line.
This is fun! Some people never get this far, some people never get to enjoy days like this.
Every person gets a body. Some of us choose to do amazing things with our bodies. This is pretty amazing.
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14 comments:
Hey Pirate,
Quit worrying and enjoy the race!! :) You have done the training, you have already done a tougher half so you are good to go.
Have fun
Bones
nuh uh - I've never done a half!
I did a tough oly, but never a half.
Never.
ulp.
Dread Pirate,
I wish there were something I could say that would be helpful.
You've trained hard. Your goals are achievable. Your real life supporters and your bloggy peeps will be pulling for you.
It's all I've got! Be safe and above all, have fun!!!
But you did half of the work already, the training. :) Can't wait to read the race report, you are going to do great.
Two comments:
One: I have some leftover crystallized ginger and some flat gingerale for that nausea.
Two: You did La Luz, Show Low, and Ironhorse. You are so ready for this.
Okay, three: The nausea gets easier with time. I promise.
You'll be fine and we'll all be out there with you.
You've done La Luz... you've done that crazy bike thing... you've done that snowshoe thing.... you are SO capable. You are trained and ready. You will do fine. Relax and enjoy the day. 7 hours is a fine goal. Finishing is a fine goal.
Go DPR!!
please. you had twins and you're raising them. whatever happens in the tri will not then scream at you, turn around and hug you, date a loser, declare YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, call your music lame, and slam doors. please. you will do fine. you're prepared. you are the dread pirate rackham!
pirate - we'll do our races virtually, k? you will do great! you're trained and girl, you did have kids - that's WAY harder than this. i promise. :-)
have fun, enjoy the day, the scenery, the volunteers. know that you are trained, that you worked hard to get to where you are and that there are few people in the world that do this thing you will be doing. you're part of a special group. and... once you get this 1/2 under your belt, you know lady IM will be whispering in your ear... :-) oops, sorry, don't mean to be an instigator.
YOU WILL ROCK!
Have fun out there!!
You'll kick butt, no doubt!
I predict you will do much better than you think. Will be looking for results and a race report. I need to keep track all the half IM reports I can to learn what I need to finish my race.
RRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ya nuts?
Yourrrrrrrrrrrr gonna do Grrrrrreat!!
I'm sooo sorry I didn't get this till after the fact. I'll bet you did great. I can't wait to hear the report. Regardless, you are doing amazing things with that body of yours and that's the thing to remember - finish fast or slow or not at all, you are amazing!!
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