more of me to love

This post starts out whiney but it gets better, honest.

I've been freaking out about my weight.

Like many chicks, I watch my weight. I know you guys do it too.
I should mention that I was over 200lb when I had my babies. I deliberately overate when I was pregnant - not something I recommend - but I knew that with twins, the biggest risk to their (statistically likely) premature birth would be their weight, so I did my part to make sure they were big.

They weren't...

just me...

It's not that I have a tendancy to be big, it's just that after I had my girls I had to work really really hard to lose the weight. This, after all my friends claimed that "breastfeeding will just suck all the weight off."

Uh huh, and monkeys will fly out of my butt.

For awhile, I accepted my size 14 ass, and my lack of energy. And then when the girls were two, I decided I didn't like my clothes anymore, and I wanted back into my pre-preg wardrobe.

So I took the Challenge - a locally organized contest for weight loss with lots of support. After doing the Challenge 3 times, I got down to this - and I looked pretty good for an old lady. Believe you me, I wasn't interested in losing any more. I had to cut so much to get there - it was not healthy, and certainly not the way I wanted to live.

Sure I was happy with how I looked, but wouldn't a functional body be more fun? So I started triathlon training. Bodybuilding for a contest (even if it's for charity) wasn't enough anymore.

Because I had been doing a bodybuilding regime (high protein diet, low- to no-carbs) the world of triathlon nutrition was a bit scary, but it quickly became obvious to me why my nutrition had to change. As a result of eating a bit more (to work harder), my bodyfat bounced up a touch. This didn't really worry me...

Now where was my point? Oh yes...

So, like any athlete, I've been watching my weight - it's a performance tool as well as a vanity thing - and I've been gaining steadily since April. Plus my pants are tighter in the waist - talk about freaking out! I seriously started to believe that there was some voodoo - all this running, cycling, swimming has messed up my metabolism. I thought maybe I am eating too much. I weigh my food and I track my calories, I'm still taking in less than Chris Carmichael would tell me to eat...but still, maybe it's too much? I mean, I work really hard -- why am I gaining weight?

Luckily, I have a grounded trainer and good numbers, and we did a body comp the other day. I am definitely bigger - but my bodyfat has remained the same - whew!

So where did those 5 lb go? I can thank my coach for all the swimming, biking, and running he makes me do, because my chest, shoulders, quads and calves are all bigger. Yes, there's more of me to love...And apparently my core is bigger too - which is why my pants are tight.

It's a little weird for me to accept that I can have that much weight on my frame, and be healthy, and run my ass off all the time, but it's true!

Why did I write this? OK, it was to brag a little.

I also wrote this because I didn't believe it was possible to gain (all muscle) working as hard as I do - but I did, and it is. Maybe somebody else out there is riding the freakout train, their train can stop here.

Good numbers save brain cells. And lives. Throw the scale away!

Oh, and wish me luck at Socorro on Saturday - eeep!