Not that I've said anything out loud, but deciding to do an iron distance race is so far as much a psychological challenge as it is physical.I've been reading the stories about IM Florida, and cringing.
I read Nancy's story and it touched a nerve. Whether it was her intent or not, what I got from reading her story was, it was not worth it.
Dear God. Not worth it? Why would I aspire to something only to get there and feel like it wasn't worth it?
I mentioned this intention to a friend. In a nutshell, he said, why Ironman? Why not aspire to parental greatness? Why not aspire to cure cancer? Why spend so much time away from your kids, only to get to the end and be able to say "I went 140.6 miles on my own power."
I don't have a ready answer for that, but going through this dialogue will certainly help me get there.
I talked to my coach, and confirmed that yes, IM training would require up to 20 hours a week of me training. *gulp* Not all at once, fortunately.
Most importantly, I talked to my husband, God bless him. He said, "cool."
Thank you. Thank you.
He said, yes, we can work it out. He said it will require early morning training (whimper). I said, I don't want to do this lopsided. Meaning, I don't want him to carry the ENTIRE can - watching the kids, taking care of the house whilst I prance around running biking and swimming.
Well, that won't happen. The man likes to do his 50 mile weeks, he will become completely unreasonable if I don't take him out and run him once in awhile. He'll make sure I take care of him.
It's helpful to be married to an athlete. He does not minimize the need for training, he understands. He appreciates.
Yes, I told him so.
And I don't want to miss out on time with my children. I want to do this and have quality time with my babies and my husband and have a functioning brain at work. Talk about challenging myself. It will take some thoughtful juggling. This will require balance. Some creative planning. I want to include my children in this, as much as possible. It's not like I want to do this tomorrow - I'm thinking about 2008. I have time to train.
What is the point, anyway?
I suppose the point is to challenge myself in a big way. And to have fun training. And see if I can do it. I have a choice about this - I'm not going to make myself do it. I don't need to feel compulsive.
I'll just sign up for a little half-iron race and see how it goes...just dip a toe...you know, for fun.
11 comments:
Iron. Wow. You're shaming me into ashamedness.
i read a story on Brett's blog. his wife was at an Ironman race watching... an emotional, and nervous man was standing next to her anxiously awaiting for a sign of the competitor he was cheering for...
out of the darkness, a laboring athlete struggled into view on the run...
as she drew near, the man started yelling the usual encouragements, but, as she passed by, his final shouts was 'YOU KNOW YOUR REASONS!'.
this has stuck with me through all of my IM training. once you sign up, the wheels go into motion, and you are the hamster on the treadmilll.
dip a toe first, but most of all, i knew my reasons all through it, and i am encouraging you to make sure you know yours.
becoming an Ironman does not make the Top 10 of things I'm most proud of accomplishing in my life... you know, like earning a degree, marrying the partner of your dreams, having a child... that kind of thing.
BUT, it was the #1 accomplishment of my last year.
KNOW YOUR REASONS
Why do anything but the bare minimum necessary to sustain life? Becoming an Ironman is a completely unreasonable goal and spending your life working to cure cancer is a total waste of time if at the end of your career you have failed, worked from the wrong theoretical model altogether...or is it?
I have been blessed with a good mind, strong body and passionate emotions. On any given day these things can be taken from me. What can not be taken from me is what I have done with my gifts to date. I therefore always try to apply my intellect, push my body and love my wife. This is the sphere in which I engage life. When I fail, I fail in the midst of a valiant attempt and therein lies a victory of a different kind.
Attempt and Ironman, don’t attempt an Ironman; it doesn’t really matter because attempting an Ironman won’t make you more than you are now but it will make you more of who you are now. I suppose that’s what I want from life, to be the most of who I am, not to become something I am not.
I was an Ironman before I even began training and I knew it. I didn’t know how well I might do or even if I would finish but those considerations are mere distractions. An Ironman is who I was and so I only needed to go out and express that in action.
So I guess the question is, who are you?
Nobody has to do an Ironman to be a complete triathlete. And not that many people do more than a few 20-hour weeks - the 12 to 15 range is much more common. But it is a LOT more time than training for a half IM. And everyone has only so many hours in the day, and something has to give somewhere else in your life if you basically take the equivalent of a part time job to train.
Good luck! Whatever you decide, we're cheering for you!
Wow, great post and great comments. I'll be the first to agree with a doubter that Ironman is a dumb goal. What's the point? Even so, you ultimately have to find what challenges you to be the person you want to be. It's hard to find the training time but you CAN do it, especially with so much support at home. I personally think you're amazing for just considering the distance-- there aren't a lot of women in the IM field comparitively speaking, and I think it's because women have more to sacrifice. It just makes you that much stronger in the end.
See how the half goes and find out if this is what keeps you going in the morning... either way we'll be cheering for you. :-)
uh, 20 hours? Is that to finish or to finish with authority? I just want to beat the cutoff. And yes, to echo Boulder, I know my reasons. They are simple, but they're mine.
and I didn't call you "twiglike". I called you "Birdlike". As in sleek and light.
Great post and it generated some intriguing personal questions.
We all go through life and work to do the best we can with what we have. I continue to be amazed at athletes such as yourself and Nancy who choose to consider the IM while balancing young children, work and everything else life throws at us.
I waited for many years, raising a great son with a wonderful wife, completing a couple of careers and am now at the point where I have the time and the drive that I believe is necessary for me to prepare for and tackle an IM.
I am doing the 20-25 hour weeks and am thoroughly enjoying myself.
Each of us must make the decision (on whatever subject or goal we are considering) on our own terms for our own reasons, while considering the impact on those who mean the most to us.
It's your call... yes, you would be "taking away" from the girls... but you would be giving them something extraordinary in the place of time. As always in parenting and life, it's a balancing act.
"Attempt an Ironman, don’t attempt an Ironman; it doesn’t really matter because attempting an Ironman won’t make you more than you are now but it will make you more of who you are now. I suppose that’s what I want from life, to be the most of who I am, not to become something I am not."
I think it's funny... but if you remove "Ironman" and insert "getting old" you will have my mom's mantra. She feels the ancientifying process clarifies and maginifies one's essential being... unfortunately she claimes her essential being is crazy and bitter.
I agree with bolder. And don't solilcite from 'friend' who is not into triathlon. Those friends think your nuts for doing a sprint, they may commit you for an iron distance.
I always ask myself this question before deciding on a big goal. "Do I have the heart?" Its easy to say yes if its something you want to do, but it necessary to listen to your internal dialougue.
Like a good friend told me the day I left for Ironman Florida, "Ironman is desire over reason." Just like Bolder said, "know your reasons" and I say feel your desire even more. Sometime during the training you'll think that racing an Ironman is unreasonable and you'll be correct. But feel your desires first and always and the genuine reasons will fall into place.
Stay tuned...
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